Top 20 Reasons the Epstein and JFK Files Haven't Been Released Yet
The Deep State’s dirty laundry is still stuck in the Spin Cycle
We’ve all been wondering. So here are the top 20 reasons the release of these files has been put on hold yet again.
The deep state’s still trying to remove Bill Clinton’s DNA from every page, and the interns are exhausted.
They’re waiting for Hillary to approve the final “accident” list for anyone who’s read them.
The Blob’s still debating which pronouns to assign Lee Harvey Oswald in the official narrative.
They’re waiting for Hunter Biden to finish his memoir so they can cross-reference the hooker and blow receipts.
Dems need the files as leverage to blackmail their top people into supporting Kamala in ’28.
Dems won’t release them until they can frame the files as systemic racism.
The Deep State’s still workshopping a conspiracy theory to pin it all on Carter Page.
Epstein’s island logs are classified until the last Hollywood perv gets an Oscar lifetime achievement award.
Susan Power is holding them hostage until Congress approves another $50 billion for Ukraine’s oligarchs.
Five words: Fauci on the grassy knoll.
The Epstein docs name half the Senate, and they’re still negotiating immunity deals over martinis.
The deep state’s still arguing over which intern gets to leak it to CNN for maximum spin.
The intel community now believes that Putin stole them.
Deep state’s saving the reveal for when they need to distract from the next rigged primary.
The Blob’s still too busy hunting down Mee-Maw from January 6th.
The files are locked in Pelosi’s combo wine fridge and SCIF, which only two people have access to in the world.
Those mysterious drones over New Jersey? Somehow the files disappeared when they did.
Scoop: Epstein’s list is just the guestbook from Obama’s 60th birthday bash.
Russian hookers peed all over the files and now they’re unreadable.
They’re afraid releasing the JFK files will remind people the last good Dem died in ’63.
Other ideas welcome in the comments.
The list has been sold to the highest bidder, cash proceeds to the CIA slush fund.
It’s #11 for Epstein’s client list…my guess for the JFK files is that there’s a smoking gun linking the assassination to the CIA…alternatively, there’s proof it was done by the Soviets and release would still be a causus belli….